Minty Fresh

Braces have made it significantly more difficult for me to floss. For a while I tried using a dental needle to thread floss under the wire, but it’s not a simple task. So when one of my orthodontist’s assistants recommended that I try super floss, I ordered some. Super floss is specialty floss cut into pieces that have a stiff end, a stretch that’s puffy to help get at things under the wire, and then normal floss for, y’know flossing with.

The package came today, and as I opened the shipping envelope the smell of mint wafted over me. I was surprised to discover that the boxes were sealed in a plastic wrapper. The odor was so strong it couldn’t be contained!

This brings us to Wyeth. Cats love catnip, as we know, and catnip is a member of the mint family. This doofus just spent 5 minutes thoroughly licking the plastic wrap, thinking he was getting high. Finally content, he crawled into my lap to sleep it off.

I don’t know whether I’m more embarrassed for him or jealous of his contentment.

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New Year, Same Old Zombie

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I don’t do resolutions. The arbitrary changeover of the year does however provide an opportunity to set some things down, so I thought I’d write down some things I hope for during this next spin around the Sun.

• Continued employment: I don’t even need to enjoy my job. I just want to keep having one. (But it’d be great if it got better.)
• Tolerable health: It seems like I’m always sick, and I’m used to that. I just don’t want to have anything major go wrong for me or my wife.
• Cat poop in the box: Yeah, dream on. Let’s dial that down to keeping it on the tile floor of the bathroom rather than spreading to new and exciting locations.
• No nuclear Armageddon: Everything else sort of depends on this one. At least I grew up expecting to be bombed, so fearing death by nukes feels oddly comfortable.
• Writing: Lots of this. At least a first draft novel completed for the first time in nearly 20 years.
• Impeachment: It could happen, right? Right?

I’m Not Getting This Anytime Soon

I ordered a photo off of eBay for my site The Web of the Big Damn Spider. It shipped promptly then seemed to stall out when it reached Chicago. The seller and I have been in communication, and there was some excitement last night when the tracking information was updated.

Then I actually looked at the current location of the package.

Today I sent the following note to the seller.

Thanks for your quick reply.

Unfortunately the package appears to be in Italy now, which doesn’t seem to be an obvious route from California to Michigan. I’ll continue to watch and see if it returns to the States.

Thanks,
Sean

That promotional picture is going to see the world on $3 shipping. I might have to be a little jealous.

This Fruit Is Filled With Spiders

Some people wonder how I can be afraid of spiders. Others marvel that I detest bananas. I’m sure that there are deep psychological causes for these feelings of revulsion, but I’ll let this video of a spider bursting out of a banana sum it up for me.

No, really. A spider coming from inside a banana.

Achievement Unlocked: Broke Couch

As of mid-afternoon yesterday, I made my goal of logging 365 movies on Letterboxd this year. As I write this, I’m watching the 368th that I’ll be logging.

Let it be known that I cam achieve a goal, no matter how long it requires me to sit on a couch.

The Rabbit King

The Rabbit King, by Rafer Roberts
Character from “Plastic Farm”

Stick a Note On It, That’ll Fix the Problem

There’s a door in the office that the building managers would like to remain closed. Lest there be any doubt, there is a sticky note in place to keep us on task.

All the sticky notes in the world won’t make up for the following facts.

• There is a closer mounted on the door that moves with excruciating slowness and resists attempts to push it shut.
• No one is going to wait for that.
• Once the closer gets the door to the jamb, it sticks because the door is just a tiny bit too wide.

I pass by the door several times a day, and I dutifully pull it shut. I hope in my small way I can make it feel a little more secure.

I Might Just Have to Work From Home This Summer

Since before the snow melted, the construction barrels and road signs have been popping up along every route between our house and work. We’d finally discovered a zig-zagging path around the work zones, so what happened?

Heeeeey…

There’s a construction sign that’s sprouted just across from our driveway. Well played, construction season. You are a worthy adversary.

Film Diary: June

I’m at 222 movies logged for year, with half a year yet to go, so I’ll take a low count for the month readily. It was nice to have a good reason for the slowdown, but I’m afraid I was just working the long hours.

We finished the Harry Potter films, which we enjoyed. I also wrapped up the Andy Sidaris box set, which I found delightfully awful.

If there are any fans of screwy martial arts flicks out there, I recommend “A Chinese Odyssey, Part 1: Pandora’s Box”. It’s based on bits of the epic Journey to the West (about taking Buddhism back to India), but in tone it’s more horror-comedy. Fart jokes, excessive groin damage, fights with spider demons, and completely inexplicable goings-on. It’s fantastic. I’d recommend part 2′ except that I haven’t seen it yet. Maybe in July…

An American Ghost Story (2012)
Brothers Five (1970)
A Chinese Odyssey, Part 1: Pandora’s Box (1994)
Day of the Warrior (1996)
Enemy Gold (1993)
Fit to Kill (1993)
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 (2010)
Harry Potter and the a Deathly Hallows, Part 2 (2011)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
King Kong vs Godzilla (1962)
Return to Savage Beach (1998)
Tarzan (1999)
Treasure Planet (2002)

First Work Day After Vacation

How well do I brain after a week off? Here’s an IM exchange from moments ago.

Wendi: Do you have [identity protected]’s address in your iPad?

Me: Yes, but not in my calendar.

I was absolutely correct…